Introducing Fancy New Emily

so, i'm back. celebrate.


i guess i jut needed to not be here for a while. i was starting to feel the pressure, and saw my last chance to get out before it all caved in on me.

and now i'm back, and i wish i was still gone.

there was something about just picking up and leaving... it made em feel like a real person. i've been zombie walking through life for a while, just doing what i was expected to do, making decisions people wanted me to make, not paying attention to the fact that i was completely and utterly miserable. i think i'm going to change that.

i like the idea of throwing people off and doing something completely irresponsible and unexcpected. i've never been that girl before... the one people whisper and wonder about. no one's ever talked about me when i wasn't there. i like it. but please please don't let me become an attention whore. smack me before i get that far.

i think it's just time for me to do things for myself, not everyone else. i don't know if all of this makes sense. but i want to be carefree. i don't want to feel like i need to impress everybody all the time. all i ever do is tell jokes or make faces or avoid questions. i'm really not that funny. it's a defense mechanism i have cultivated through years of experience to hide the fact that i am the dullest person on the planet. serisouly, ask my friends from high school. i never did anything. i don't want to tell jokes anymore. please don't make me. that way when i really do tell a joke it's not just because i'm avoiding something.

i don't think i've answered a question



*****i'm sorry, we need to acknowledge the fact that Tasha Swalve just brought me a caramel apple empanada because i asked for one in my away message. she is now my favorite person on the planet. anyway.........

i don't think i've answered a question honestly in 5 years. it's just easier to make a joke.

again, i'm sorry. the fact that someone saw my away message and ACTUALLY went out of their way to bring me a caramel apple empanada just negates everything i've been complaining about. if nothing else i have my friends. they are amazing. they bring me taco bell pastries. and they distract me.

i don't know what i was talking about. i complain too much. hit me hard in the head or something. i think i need to go out this weekend. who wants to go out? let's go out. im me or something. please. i like friends.

where the hell did i come from?